By Lynn Haraldson-Bering
Two years ago today, I reached my goal weight: 138. It wasn’t a number I really chose, but rather it was the place where my waist measured my personal goal of 31 inches and where my doctor told me, “I think you can stop now.” I went on to lose another 10 pounds, but not consciously. My body did what it needed to do, I guess, and found its equilibrium around 128.
My head, on the other hand, has been on a heckuva ride.
I spent the first months of maintenance wondering what I was supposed to do. Eat more? Exercise more? Weigh every day? I stumbled through on my own for awhile, and then in the course of a year, two things happened that changed my maintenance footpath into a real road.
First was the formation of The Maintaining Divas. I asked four women from the Weight Watchers discussion boards, who had also lost more than 100 pounds and were maintaining, if they minded if I emailed them once in awhile to ask questions about maintenance. They, too, knew very few people who were maintaining their weight. So we formed a private discussion board to talk about the trials of maintenance. A deep and abiding friendship blossomed, and I have a greater understanding and acceptance of my reduced body.
The Divas met for the first time last September and I wrote a blog about our get-together, “The Maintaining Divas Meet At Last.” We still “chat” every day about anything and everything, and I’m always amazed how the tentacles of maintenance reach into all aspects of our lives. It’s not always conscious. It’s more than we live our lives as women who are maintaining, not as women who’ve lost a lot of weight. There’s a big difference.
The second road-building thing that happened was meeting Barbara, who is a doctor, and who by virtue of being a doctor should have scared the bejeezus out of me. Except for my current family physician, I’ve not had a real good track record with doctors in regard to weight issues. Whether I was 138 pounds, 150 pounds, 200 pounds, whatever, “You have to lose weight!” was basically their message, which is fine if they would have also offered some advice and support. But no, they just said, “You’re fat, go away.”
Granted, Barbara wasn’t my doctor and I didn’t need to lose weight anymore, but I was still a little nervous when she wrote to me and asked if I’d consider working with her. Add to that, she’d written a book about maintenance. What did I know about maintenance? I knew how to lose weight, sure, but I was still quite new to the what-happens-next part.
Then I read the final draft of Refuse to Regain. Barbara’s passion for helping people maintain weight loss was equal to my desire to learn more about maintenance and not screw it up. She wasn’t scary and I’m glad I got past that particular doctorphobia. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have this blog. And without this blog, I wouldn’t have all of you, the readers, who through your comments and emails about your views and experiences with maintenance, have been vital to my own maintenance. I’m eternally grateful for your participation.
Yesterday, I reread the foreword I’d written for Barbara’s book before writing my latest Lynn’s Weigh blog and thought I’d share a portion of it with you.
“The Refuse to Regain message is strong and clear: maintenance requires diligence and a plan. It requires adopting a warrior mentality to navigate the real world of modern food consumption and to say no to would-be saboteurs. It requires understanding the body’s response to complex and simple sugars, fat, and protein; developing and sustaining an exercise regimen; and nurturing our emotional health by seeking out others in maintenance for support. Within its pages is concrete guidance to help those who have lost weight and are determined to keep it off to accomplish these goals.
Like a writer needs a pen and a carpenter needs a hammer, POWs (Previously OverWeight) need a fundamental, basic tool to help them navigate the waters of maintenance. We need reliable, no-nonsense information. Refuse to Regain shines a light in the dark void left empty by a world obsessed with weight loss and ignorant to the true challenge that is weight maintenance.”
Would I be celebrating two years at goal without the “light” of the Divas and RTR? Maybe. But the road, with all its hills, twists and turns, is much easier to navigate and a lot more fun to travel with the support of people who “get it.”
