by Barbara Berkeley, MD
No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main….. John Donne, 1572-1631
As John Donne famously observed, each of us is connected to the other and to the larger world. In free societies, our belief in personal liberty often obscures this point. We are free to choose, or so we believe. But our freedoms are enormously affected by the influence of the culture in which we are immersed, by the very connections that make us human. Are we choosing or are we being led? At no time is this question more pertinent than in an election year. Our political choices are based on the information we learn from PACs, Super PACs, newspapers, TV pundits, the opinions of friends, and finally...our own observation. How free is our choice? Pure freedom of choice depends on the degree to which we want to unearth and establish the unvarnished, un-spun truth. This kind of fact-finding requires a serious amount of focus, time, and commitment.
And so it is with our dietary choices. We may feel that we have the freedom to choose how we eat. We are certainly told that we do. If we choose to eat badly, it’s our own fault isn’t it? But I observe a quite different reality. In fact, our freedom is severely tested and influenced by the enormous weight of a food culture that condones, encourages, and normalizes a quite different message. Eating is a sport, a right, an ultimate enjoyment to which we are all entitled. Further, modern food is not bad... it’s GOOD. It is only our choice that is poor. Swimming away from that cultural current can be like opposing the force of the ocean. The water looks calm, but we are actually caught in a rip tide.
This is the reason that making an analogy between successful maintenance and life on an island so appeals to me. In order to avoid the influence of the food culture, we have to absent ourselves from it. We have to live, to some degree, outside of it.
How is this done? Some do it by becoming fierce proponents of diets that don't look anything like the modern American plate: vegan, vegetarian, paleo. Others become immersed in the world of nutrition and fitness. They blog, take courses, become trainers, write books, become experts. But for the vast majority of maintainers, it's a matter of applying a set of mental blinders. They doggedly focus on the road ahead, follow their plan, and try not to be overwhelmed by the flood of food messaging.
Maintainers can feel both proud and lonely. They sit on an island while the rest of the world swims in a sea of food all around them. Often, it’s hard to avoid jumping back in the water. It looks like so much fun that it’s easy to forget what it took to get up on dry land. It's hard to remember that we once felt like we were drowning.
Since we are social beings, connected to one another whether we want to be or not, it’s easier to stay on our island if we know that we are not alone. Those who belong to a diet subculture (like the vegans, vegetarians and primalists referenced above) have websites, books, and mentors to follow. But for all maintainers, a vital task is finding other people who live on the island.
As you know, I run a monthly group for maintainers in the Cleveland area. After a couple of years of meetings, those of us who participate have discovered that we never run out of things to say. For many in the group, the maintenance of a significant weight loss is the defining challenge of their lives. They never tire of discussing the process. They also enjoy sharing their observations of what’s going on off-island. Viewed through the eye of the group, the behavior of the rest of the world seems nonsensical at times, almost incredible.
Month after month we repeat the truth to one another. It’s the truth of our island culture, not the truth of the world according to the Food Network. We congratulate each other, support each other when we venture a bit to close to the water’s edge. It is an enterprise that I highly recommend to those of you who are maintaining out there on your own. I offer my support if you would like to try starting a group in your area. Email me and I'll help as much as I can.
Form a group. Define your culture. Meet your neighbors. An island can be a pretty beautiful place to live, as long as you are not alone.
